Friday, July 31, 2015

Tavern in a lake town

Mom and I went to a lake town. The GPS led us to a nonexistent grocery store, so we stopped at the local tavern to eat instead. A silhouette of a cowboy and another of a topless woman decorated the outside. We wandered in anyway. 

Inside the entire bar turned around to look at us. Luckily it wasn't a strip club. 

We ordered what we knew would be disgusting food, straight from the freezer.  I actually watched the guy take it out of the freezer and put it in the fryer. We ate it anyway.

Our glasses had ice on the outside because they were "chilled." The waitress came by with a rag to wipe off our entire table, including ice chips from the outside of the glasses, while we ate our meal.

The people at the bar were all locals and laughed with each other. It was enjoyable to watch. 

At the end of our meal, which neither one of us finished, my mom went to the bar to get the check. She noticed the waitress only charged us for the meal. My mom had ordered iced tea and I got a ginger ale. 

The woman looked at the check and said, "Oh no, you're the designated drivers!" She still didn't charge us for the drinks. 

I tipped my hat to the shadowy cowboy and bid that town a good night :)

Monday, July 6, 2015

Peter and the Smokin' Car

I started my journey home from Massachusetts a bit later than I had planned because I found a pond that begged me to swim in it. Then I saw a farm with homemade ice cream...

Finally, I got back in my car at 5 p.m. to begin a seven hour drive, at the end of which I met Peter who miraculously fixed my car and reminded me of the first Pope.

At the ice cream shop, the man in line behind me suggested his favorite flavor, which I got. He told me the story of when he dove with a video camera to the bottom of the pond where I had swum.

“What’s down there?” I asked.

“Blackness,” he responded. 

I was mid-bite on a bench behind the ice cream shop when I witnessed a Corn Hole miracle. A dad tossed four bean bags in a row straight into the wooden board hole! I shook his hand on the way to my car.

The roads meandered by farms and lakes, little stone walls, deer and a raccoon family. My ride was an extra hour, but I avoided New York City traffic and tolls after I got the MapQuest app for my phone.

At one stop, I helped an Indian family with little English find their way to New York City. The mom took pictures of my cell phone directions with her smart phone.

The last stop I made was a couple hours later, out of necessity. I had crossed a few one lane bridges, and had just traveled down a gravel road when a new light shone on my dashboard, not to mention my car smelled like burning.

Yeah…so there was a lake on my right and was on a rural streetlight-less road. Even if I knew where I was, how would AAA even find me?

I prayed and drove. I only had an hour to go. Finally, I saw one open establishment: a bar.
Two men and two women sat at a table outside. I stopped the car, watched as it started smoking, and approached the table.

“Do any of you know about cars?” I asked.

“I know a little,” said one of the men.

He got up and looked under my hood. Then he checked my oil.

“Damn, that’s hot!” he shouted.

“Yeah…I’ve been on the road for seven hours.”  I discerned that he wasn’t drunk.

He pulled out his cell phone and called a friend.

No answer.

A minute later, the friend called back.

With no introduction, the man said, “Hey, I got a..." and named the make and model of my car as if it was broad daylight and he ran a mechanic shop (which he didn’t).

It was 11:30 p.m., but the friend not surprised with the car request. He answered the questions and hung up.

It turned out I had accidentally pushed a button on my gear shift to make the light go on, and I had too much oil in my car from when my engine was switched.

And the man who helped me had just switched the engine of another car…maybe he had more than a “little” experience.

Everything was solved in 5 minutes.

I was elated. The table cheered, “Welcome to Pennsylvania!”

I laughed. The whole time I thought I was in New Jersey.

As I left, I asked the man his name.

Peter.

That’s the miracle.

I had just come from a retreat where I meditated on Jesus’ call of Peter, “You are Peter and on this rock I will build my church.”

I thought, of course Jesus would have picked Peter. A common fisherman, who probably would have hung out a local bars and fixed people’s boats if they were leaking. Jesus gave him a new identity—in Himself-- and he impacted the whole world.



Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Gotta git my nails did to match my swim cap

What I like about Aqua Zumba is my friend who covers up half her weave with a neon green swimming cap to match her neon green nails. 

"You trying to keep just half your hair dry?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah the top part..." she laughed. 

Functionality replaced by fashion.

#OnlyInAquaZumba




Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Every day miracles.

Every day miracles.

My friend’s car broke down—billowing smoke-- in a neighborhood on her way to work this morning. She’s a Catholic school teacher and single mom and doesn’t have easy funds to fix the car, but God provided some consolation. A woman emerged from the house where her car was and invited her in for a cup of tea.

I met up with friends with whom we shared a house five years ago. It was one of the friend’s graduation party. She just gave birth to her second child at age 43, and finished her graduate degree which took her five years to complete given life changes. She got married to her husband of the same age at 40, and they both received free cars in their lives when they were poor. They’re still broke, and someone just gave them a minivan.


There was a substitute teacher at Aqua Zumba tonight. She played Tina Turner's Rolling On The River. Twice. Everyone got so into it that people asked her to play it again at the end of the class. So she did, and the people in the hot tub stood up to watch.

Amen.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

A song for the road

The woman in front of me at church today ripped out the "Sing of Mary" song from the hymnal. 

I don't think it was premeditated. It think it might have even been spontaneous worship.

She ripped it slowly and methodically, then carefully folded it into her windbreaker pocket. She didn't glance once over her shoulder to see who might observe her-- the act was clearly justified by God.

I laughed as she ripped. And found it difficult to stop.

I wondered what went through her mind. 

"Mary's my mama, and May is her month. Now I get to sing this sweet song to her all the days we have left!"

"Bet they don't have this one on Google..."

"Oh, I just love this song... 2015 is almost over anyhow... They'll get new hymnals soon."

"#711 is my lucky number! Better take the whole page..."

"I definitely made my Ascension obligation. Here's my proof."

Amen.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Street Name

"What's your street name?" asked the cashier at the vitamin shop.

My mind was distracted, so I pondered...

Why would he want to know my street name? Like my gangster name? 

I thought hard about the possibilities, but didn't have a good one to share.

"I don't think I have a street name," I replied. "Do you want my first name instead?"

"No, I want the name of the street where you live."

Amen.

Beyond My Wildest Beliefs

It happened. Jesus rose from the dead, and my students saw me at Aqua Zumba.

Jesus, help my unbelief!

Six of nine kids from one family flocked to the warm pool’s shallow side and bug-eyed the lap pool to watch Zumba. I waved.

I told their mom at lunch duty that I hoped her kids weren’t scandalized as their gawks shifted between me and my sexy instructor. She laughed.

Later she sent me an email and mentioned she might join me.

Anonymous happy place: Found out.

I thought about how a hypothetical Aqua Zumba parent teacher conference might go:

“How’s my son fairing in Math? (underwater body roll). “Oh, you know…he’s failing, but I can see that he really puts in the effort…(“EEEEE! The instructor lets out a battle cry and demonstrates a booty shake).

“Do you think we should do more work at home?”

“Yes, I think that might help.”

“She can really get down can’t she?”

“Umm yes; she really is a professional.”

#professionalboundariesdown. Suit up.


Amen.