Funny Things

“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!” – One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish. Dr. Seuss, who would've been 110 on his recent birthday, is right. Funny things are everywhere. And thank God, because humor keeps me ALIVE!

Funny things remind me of childlikeness and dependence on God. He totally provides JOY in varied funny ways.

First Grade

One of my students can't keep his desk clean. “I like being messy” … he said with a smile I can’t resist. 

I acknowledged his preference and explained that it’s not efficient in the classroom. Then I gave him a visual: “It’s like a hamburger…folders on the bottom (bun), then journals (burger), then papers for class on top (bun).”

Immediately, a voice calls from the back of the room…“Ohh, can I have a cheeseburger?”

Another student shared about rattle snakes. "They scare the hell out of me." The word came out quickly, but it might as well have been in slow-mo. “H…e….l….l…”  There was a moment of frozen time when two other students gasped and I sucked in a deep breath of self-control to keep from laughing.

Thankfully it blew over.

One of my girls came to me before snack time with an urgent message: “I wanna tell you something…there’s shorts under my stockings.”

That is serious uncomfortable business...and I really wonder how they got there.

In car line after school, one of the boys blurted, “The best part is I’m going squatching," to a question no one posed. “Big Foot hunting!” (Yes, this same boy has Big Foot correct his Math homework).

“What does squatching involve?” I asked, (already having some idea given that my brothers interviewed “Squatch” believers on their recent trip South). 

His mom answered, “I don’t know, it must be a man thing. They go in the woods.”

The boy stuck his head out the car window and chimed in: “Throw sticks, make Big Foot calls...” 

I wonder what kind of influence reality TV shows have on American family life...

My students played dress-up in the afternoon. The boys found some old devices in the box… "Look at this Secret Code Password…” said one boy as he held up his mechanism… 

Cell phones. Magical.

What if adults used their imaginations this way?

Hairdresser

My hairdresser does.

I moved the chair a bit away from the hair washing sink because I’m tall.

“I must be getting shorter, or all the women coming in these days are Amazonian,” he said.

I joked that my spear was in the car.

“My spear’s in my heart,” he said. “Not like in my heart, but that’s just where I keep it…”

Art Museum

Spears and armor were displayed at the art museum where two friends and I went on “pay what you wish” Wednesday. We skipped that room but made sure to check out the free yoga class that happened on the second level. My legs were tired so I squatted to rest -- a little too close to the yogis.

An Asian guy, who watched the class, came up to me, unfolded his museum map in front of me like a yoga mat and asked with an impish grin, “Want to try?”

The imagery was too much for my friends who walked away as tears of mirth streamed from their eyes.

Later my friends and I looked at a room where urns were displayed. I wondered if cremated people were in them. We agreed that we should pray for their souls, and my friend began the prayer…it went fine until he paused and attempted to pronounce their Dutch names…

May they rest in peace.

Zumba

There was no rest for most us at my recent Zumba classes.

We lifted colorful barbells that sounded like maracas when we shook them, and we danced at the same time. It was almost like we were weight lifting.

During a water break, I commented on the practical genius of one woman who brought a hand towel to wipe her face. Then I saw another woman mop her face with a bath towel. She took practical brilliance and self-confidence to a whole other level.

On Saturday, another woman was just as real with herself. She sat and watched the class with a box of Dunkin Donuts in front of her. She got up a few times to move and then went right back to those sugary delights. To her credit, she got herself to the class…and Mardi Gras is tomorrow.

Mardi Gras

My friend and I went to a Mardi Gras party Saturday night (right after I pulled the handle off the microwave at my apartment...and I did use a word that would make my first grade blush. Luckily, my friend was here to laugh with me).

We sat at a table with a Nigerian man and his Caribbean wife who added much joy to our night. They, like many who attended the BYOE (bring your own everything) party, had brought enough food to make a real “loaves and fishes” miracle happen (like if you came with just a few sandwich bags of goodies a la my friend and I, you’d still get fed really well).

He asked us if we wanted wine. I said no, but couldn’t help thinking about the delectable -- looking homemade elegantly iced cake on the table behind us. My friend and I lamented that we hadn’t thought of dessert –at a Mardi Gras party to boot! 

"Do you have any cake?” I impulsively asked him.

He laughed and procured a delicious pound cake. More proof that totally God loves us. Through funny things and "fishes." Personally. For real.