Saturday, January 17, 2015

Country 'n Hip-Hop Mixin it Up

When a Country tune references a hip-hop dance the world gets a little more hilarious.

"Well the boys 'round here, they're keeping it country / Ain't a damn one know how to do the dougie / You don't do the dougie? / No, not in Kentucky"


My car radio settings are now: Country, Old School Hip-Hop, and Christian. 

Amen.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Chico and Nugget

Once upon a time there was a little bird named Chico. His best friend was a mouse named Nugget. Chico and Nugget lived in a big boarding house where lots of people came in and out night and day from all over the world.

Sometimes at night the guests would play card games and laugh and laugh. One of these nights, the little bird heard a man with a high throaty laugh named Chico. The little bird liked the sound it made when he called, “Chi-co, Chi-co,” so he decided to keep it for his name. He whistled it softly to himself that night as he settled in under the eaves.

Nugget’s scratching woke him in the morning. Chico quickly stretched his wings and opened his beady eyes to find the source of the noise. A mouse quivered by the doorpost and nibbled a split pea.

“Breakfast!” thought Chico.

Normally Chico would eat bugs and seeds in accordance with his statue, but today with his new name he felt bold and fierce.

The mouse was surprised to see such a small bird descend upon him, but the gleam in its eyes was undeniable: hunger.

Luckily, the little mouse had watched the borders’ exercise videos and he leaped nimbly aside. Chico’s inexperience drove his beak into the ground as he lay eye to eye with the mouse.

“You don’t want me,” said the mouse to the bird. “I’m just a little nugget!

“A bird of your might would take much more to fill; I bet you could eat the whole head of a sunflower.”

Chico’s curiosity was piqued and he rose to the challenge. A great windfall befell Nugget who ate all the seeds that fell from the messy bird’s beak.

A friendship began—at first superficial, until Nugget’s leg was broken by the banging porch door and Chico brought him seeds and sap to heal him right up.

“That’s a great story, Penelope. But if I wrote it, Nugget would never have got a broken leg,” said TANK, “because Chico would have eaten him in one gulp!”

Penelope rolled her eyes and lightly pushed her little brother from the stump he sat on to the grass beneath his feet.


“Nice plot,” she said, and walked off to find her journal.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Aquatic Entertainment

Aqua Zumba. Hilarious. The instructor dances outside the pool and simulates water resistance with huge movements like her limbs defy gravity. But then she can’t help herself and she shimmies till the cows come home and does a few booty drops. 

I’d love an underwater camera to capture these moves of the mostly middle-aged, older adult class… definitely prime footage for a gangsta rap music video.

My students just finished swim practice—I saw them in the hall in a quick confidence booster celebrity moment—and I’m glad they didn’t see me get down to songs I don’t let them sing in school. 

“Our teacher is HOT is Aqua Zumba class”…cause that’s fun recess banter, and pics might boost school website hits. 

“After a vigorous day of Latin instruction, our teachers burn off their extra energy at the local Y” …Latin instruction…hahaha…extra energy...oh my.

Lynne doesn’t like “land Zumba” because people can watch her. I’m thinking she can get as sexy as she wants under water, but she’s just self-conscious that she doesn’t know the moves.

I’m pretty sure the middle-aged black guy behind me wouldn’t care if he didn’t know the moves “on land.” He just wants to sing along and “git it!” “We work hard; we play hard”…. “BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!”

And the comfortably padded mature woman took her time as she climbed the ladder out of the pool. She covered her floral one-piece with a pink bath towel and just stood huddled awhile.

“I’m trying to get the courage to walk into the locker room,” she giggled. “Oooh, and then we have to go outside,” she shrugged her shoulders in delightfully endearing anticipation for the cold.

 I do make pastoral visits to local bars like other young adults, and recently I met a man who works for Comedy Central, and a guy who draws camels that look like dogs.

But I guess exercise classes and children thrill me. And Aqua Zumba, it’s just funny to say.

Amen.



Monday, January 5, 2015

Prayer for Good Humor

Prayer for Good Humor
by St. Thomas More

Grant me, O Lord, good digestion, and also something to digest. 
Grant me a healthy body, and the necessary good humor to maintain it. 
Grant me a simple soul that knows to treasure all that is good 
and that doesn’t frighten easily at the sight of evil, 
but rather finds the means to put things back in their place. 
Give me a soul that knows not boredom, grumblings, sighs and laments, 
nor excess of stress, because of that obstructing thing called “I.” 
Grant me, O Lord, a sense of good humor. 
Allow me the grace to be able to take a joke to discover in life a bit of joy, 
and to be able to share it with others.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Ho ho ho

I wondered why I was stuck in traffic on a few occasions and why there seemed to be a state of emergency with fire trucks everywhere. Then I realized that there is definitely more than one Santa Clause in my area...And they're out there on top of fire trucks all weekend! 

My favorite was the announcer today who sounded like a sports broadcaster as he proclaimed, "Heeeere comes Santa Claus!"

Two fire engines even came in my apartment complex! I rushed out to the balcony to see the jolly fellow flanked by volunteer firefighters (clearly a disguise from their normal elf attire) and he looked up and waved! Apartment dwellers might not have chimneys, but Santa Claus still comes to visit :-) 

Amen!

Christmas Balls

St. Francis' Prayer for Peace
My sister's wedding invitation

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Greatest Gift



First Grade's present this year.
The children exclaimed over it for a couple minutes. Then the boys made the boxes into rocketships and private jets. And baby Jesus became a little toddler who walked around and said, "Hi, I'm Jesus!"
I still wish we had cows at school for them to milk and small game for them to shoot.
Little boys. Our God became one of them. Humanity. Real life. Amen.