Today is the feast of the Holy Name of Jesus.
St. Bonaventure wrote, “To the little Infant begotten in you
spiritually, give the name Jesus, which means: Savior, amidst the miseries of
this life.”
I walked outside at 10:30 a.m. to see how much snow was there and to release some energy with my neighbor’s shovel. A high
school boy had already moved about half the snow off the driveway--the snow blower was broken (and hadn't been used in three years), so I went to
dig out my car.
For 20 minutes I swept and shoveled as another littler
neighbor across the street stood perfectly still on a snow mound and watched
me. His mom cleared the driveway and talked to him periodically in an Asian
language, but he didn’t move from his perch.
I wondered what that child thought as he stood in his cute pom-pom topped hat. I I was content to shovel out some
hurt in my heart; he simply wanted to stand and watch as I bent, scooped, and lifted
piles of snow onto the sidewalk embankment.
Where was this child’s mind? I don’t know. But he amused me
as he stood there; the other part of my brain shoveled in solidarity with a broken man who gets
high to escape his anger.
I was grateful to release some of my tension through manual labor as I prayed
for the man who drinks, smokes and injects to suppress his rage.
Recently I had watched that man return to his apartment drunk,
after he failed to get the high he wanted. He chucked an open Gatorade bottle
at the window and its contents showered all over the wall and floor. Enraged,
he let fly a string of curses and shouted at the people who allow him to stay
in their house as he sorts out his life.
I mourned for that man as I shoveled. I empathized with
his anger and thought about situations in my life that have caused me grief. I
thought: he needs more than the alcohol, marijuana and occasional heroin injections.
He needs more than the
recognition of the Post Traumatic Stress disorder he got from military service. He needs more than countless hours of television he watches to block out the world. He needs love.
Just like me and every human being in the world. How do we get
this love? A real personal encounter with Jesus.
How do people meet Jesus? Through one-on-one relationships. Jesus appears in rehab, group therapy, counseling, friendships, romantic
relationships, books written by broken people who learned how to live healthy lives.
He appears in little boys standing on snow piles. High schoolers shoveling on a snow day. And a local man who must have dug out his business driveway for hours and shouted "Yee-Haw!" in sheer exhausted exhilaration when he finished.
Jesus. I need you. Jesus. I trust in you. Jesus. I know you
forgive my sins. Jesus. I know you have a plan for my life.
Jesus.
At times I have watched the world with wonder like that
small Asian boy. At times I’ve shouted “Yee-haw” with delirious joy. At times I’ve wanted to throw something at the
wall.
Jesus.
You are with me. When I Praise you. When I forgot to say
your name. When I’m angry. When I’m happy. When I am surrounded by friends. When
I’m alone, scared and heartbroken.
The high school boy shoveling had “Epic” emblazoned in gold
on his aviator sunglasses. “EP” on one shade, and “IC” on the other. The shades made me laugh, and think that God is so "epic" He created the sun-- and He can shine wherever He wants.
The boy wore sneakers, flannel pajama pants, a sweatshirt and flicked snow
over his shoulder as he held his tool with glove-less hands. He skipped school yesterday, knows there’s four and a half
months of school left this year, prays for more snow days, and shoveled my
neighbor and my shared driveway for free.
He just likes shoveling. He likes the cold. And he’ll
come back in an hour to get the icy bits after the sun melts them.
“Did you shovel your own driveway?” I asked him.
“No,” he replied. “My mom hires someone with a plow who does
it in 10 minutes.”
Sometimes people just need to shovel. Sometimes people just
need to watch the world. Sometimes people need to shout like a Texan in a
Northeastern city. And sometimes people need to throw things to release their
inner pain.
God is with every single person through it all.
Jesus, You are with me through my pain.
“Savior, amidst the miseries of this life…” Jesus, you came
as a vulnerable infant. Your life was full of suffering. Yet, a star shone
brilliantly above the stable where you were born.
Open my heart, broken and bleeding as it may be, and put your light there. Let it be a place of refuge and peace in the midst of the world's miseries.
Jesus, give me the grace to see Your love even in the midst of pain. Thank you for the lights of today. Savior Jesus. Praise Your Holy Name.
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